just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
