you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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