WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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