i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me