it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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