i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
