with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
