Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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