I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think people are normalizing furries
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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