"it" just moved
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
