I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
