we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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