Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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