i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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