Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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