About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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