Betty ford says i'm here all night
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize