peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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