You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
