jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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