I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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