peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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