It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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