I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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