i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
