They should really pass out barf bags in church
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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