considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
