Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
