he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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