pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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