Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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