Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
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