Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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