i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
