how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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