you guys were way drunker than both of me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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