I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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