Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
