god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
