Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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