I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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