He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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