I wish I only lived at night.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
