...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why didn't you poke me back
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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