1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
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You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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