i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
