I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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