Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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