Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No subtext here. People are naked.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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