We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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