Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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