What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
