where am i from again
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
