So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
