I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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