we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
