i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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