I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize