I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
