I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
